SKYLINE REPORTS

21 April 201820 April 2018 Doctor Parrot

News about mother-in-law

20 April 201818 April 2018 Doctor Parrot

What men do after having sex

19 April 201818 April 2018 Doctor Parrot

Defense against AIDS

18 April 201817 April 2018 Doctor Parrot

At the restaurant

17 April 201814 April 2018 Doctor Parrot

Who’s the killer ?

16 April 201816 April 2018 Doctor Parrot

Quitting the connection with Satan

13 April 2018 Doctor Parrot

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JOKES: SKYLINE REPORTS

The husband is reading the newspaper. “Dear, it seems your mother has reached Istanbul”, he tells his wife. “How so ? Is this written in the newspaper ?”, she says puzzled. “Yes. Look here: << the plague has reached Istanbul…>>”

What men do after having sex

A recent study has shown what men do after having sex: ♦ 5 % of men prefer to read a book. ♦ 7 % of them drink a glass of whisky. ♦ 3 % of men watch TV. ♦ 4 % them smoke a cigarette. ♦ 1 % of them fall asleep. ♦ The remaining […]

Defense against AIDS

“Hey, Dicky ! How do you defend youself against AIDS ?” “I”m smart. I know how to do it.” “How ?” “I always wear the condom.” “Always ?” “Well, I strip it when I go to the toilet or have sex…”

At the restaurant

A guy who eats at the restaurant calls the waiter: “Taste the soup, please !” The waiter is confused and asks: “Is the soup too hot ?” “Taste the soup !” “Is the soup too cold ?” “Taste the soup !” “Did a fly come into the soup ?” “Taste the soup !” The waiter […]

Who’s the killer ?

A boy and a girl are at the cinema bar waiting the movie to start. The seller woman asks them: “Do you want popcorn ?” “No, thanks.” “Maybe you want cola ?” “No.” “Some chewing gum, then ?” “No… no !…” The seller woman is disappointed, turns back and wants to leave, but before she […]

Quitting the connection with Satan

A priest is near the bed of a very sick man who is dying. According to the ritual, he tells the sick: “Say now that you give up your connection with the devil !” Silence… “Say, man, with all your strenght !”, the priest says again. Silence… “Why don’t you say you give up the […]

Drive Like Fury

Originally posted on WORLDLY LIFE:
A young man was in a great hurry. He jumped into a taxi. “Drive like fury !”, he cried to the driver. They turned corners at a great speed and escaped collisions by a miracle. After about five minutes the young man asked the driver: “Where are you driving to…

A strange funeral

Dicky and three of his friends were carrying a coffin on their shoulders. The coffin was sitting on one side and someone, being very surprised at this, asks: “What happened ?” “We’re burying my mother-in-law”, Dicky says. “Poor her ! God forgives her !… But why don’t you take the coffin properly ?” “Well, if […]

A good reason to run away from the police

A guy was driving his car at high speed on the highway. At one point he sees a police car following him. He thinks : “I have a good car, so I can disappear”. He accelerates and a crazy race begins. When the speedometer reaches the maximum, seeing he cannot get rid of the police, […]

Thinking of you

The husband tells his wife: “Dear, I confess that when we have sex I think of other woman. That’s because I can’t be excited otherwise…” “Oh, asshole ! I always think about you when I have sex with other man !”

NEWS: SKYLINE REPORTS

Mike Pence saves the world

Do you think Mike Pence is dunderhead ? You always think of him involved in sex scandals like Hollywood, but with sheep – like Don Quixote ? Finish ! What would you do without him if… 1. Aliens land on a cornfield in Ohio and ask the natives to connect them with the most powerful man […]

The Creation of the World – Trump’s vision

1. On the first day God created the sky and the Earth. For administrative reasons he created the whole Earth in one place to be able to master it better and depends on only the Republicans, which he knew better. The land was empty and not leased. It was full of weeds because people were at […]

Sean Hannity – Billionaire after he discovered oil in the gunk underneath his fingernails

No one expected that when Sean Hannity, the famous Fox News journalist, was in a mad acces and he tried to cut his fingernails. His wife looked at him indifferently believing that it was still a new thing that her conservative husband wanted to try. But as soon as the blade touched the ground beneath […]

Top 3 Communist Superheroes

If you think superheroes comics are a capitalist invention, you deceive yourself. Long before the Spider Man, Batman and Fantastic Woman, the communist countries had their own heroes of class struggle fulfilling the Five-Year Plan in two hours, were immune to electrical power, regulary defetead the Captain Bourgeois and saved the planet from imperialism. 1. Captain […]

Congress – Terrorized by a bear descending from the mountains and proposing bad laws

Revelations of Paul Ryan, the Speaker of the House of Representatives, who confessed today that most of the draft laws aren’t of the Republicans, but those are the work of a mad bear that periodically descends from the mountains, breaks the Congress door and make nonsense through the House. “Me and my collegues in Congress […]

An American has completely moved to the virtual currency: in his wallet he has only imaginary money

The mirage of crypto-coins has irremediably attracted the American Bruce Lewis from Ohio. After a few skilful maneuvers he managed to move totally into virtual money, account and wallet. After a contradictory discussion with his boss, Bruce now receives his salary in the virtual currency and his boss tells him from time to time how […]

Trump’s secret reviews: How to succeed in politics

No one asks you to be a successful politician. It’s really a bad idea to be successful because after that you are in the spotlight and you can have many unpleasant actions before you can enjoy a cheap meal at the White House. However, if you want to be in the show, here’s how you […]

A day in Kim Jong-un ‘s life

7.00 – A Kim Jong-un’s personal assistant turns him from one side to the other to not numb his hand. Being a tinker, he remains stuck with his hand under the dictator and has to cut it to be not there when Kim Jong wakes up. He cuts his hand slowly without a noise with a […]

Michael Moore’s secret reviews: the robots

A friend told me the robots would replace us in the future. Allow me to disagree with this. How can a robot do what I do ? Can a robot live in a bear fur for three years in the Rocky Mountains to look like he does not need society but society needs him ? […]

Innovation: Ford wants to manufacture the car that runs alone and goes where it wants

A project of Ford factory in Michigan can revolutionize the automotive industry. Dearborn bosses are working on the prototype of a car that runs alone and goes where it wants. “For this car, not only the driver is useless, but the passenger. You don’t need to tell it where to go. It knows very well […]

STORIES: SKYLINE REPORTS

Civic guard

Every time I hear about an iminent war I remember with respect and pride from the time when I was one of the brave defenders of Independece. At the time of the last Oriental conflagration I served in the civic guard – Intelligent Bayonet – in the company of the Armenian slum. Heroic times ! […]

Indecipherable writing

We often receive letters that make us an analog effect with the unpredicted encounter with the ancient sphinx. There are people who have ugly habit or caprice to sign in such a way that no one than them can read the signature. We recommend these people the following historical anecdote that should be dedicated to […]

First blog post

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DADA: SKYLINE REPORTS

Morning sunset

A sad tree had a shaggy elephant who liked to smoke seaweed every morning. The tree often told it to quiet smoking as the carbon dioxide concentration of the atmosphere increased, but the elephant did not hear it because it was deaf due to an atomic bomb exploding right next to its left ear during […]

First blog post

This is the excerpt for your very first post.

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